


If I wrote Twilight

by BleedingHeart911



Category: Twilight
Genre: Vampires, Werewolves, for the supernatural, fun and angst, more of a supernatural nerd, my sick and wonderful series, not really into porn, vampires and werewolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2018-11-11 14:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11150331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingHeart911/pseuds/BleedingHeart911
Summary: Twilight is trash. I love it like no other.The potential in what the characters offer is big.





	1. Chapter 1

Decade later and I still have so many ideas for the the Twilight franchise. It has holes I want to fill, in the most respectful ways. One bad joke. I promise it's better than this.

For this chapter I think I'm going to put it in 2005. A life without texting and Netflex seems almost unimaginable but then you use that imagination. 

* * *

 

 Riding motorcycles through a green forest was fun. Bella couldn't say or even think it was more fun than vampire speed. Vampires were cool but moody so Bella had to take time away from her beau Edward. Jacob was goofy and while she felt guilty for the friend-zoning he was letting her get away with taking his attention.

"I bet I'm faster than your vamp." Jacob said, his thumb to his MUSE t-shirt.

Bella pretended to laugh. "Dude, he stretches."

"Whatever, want a drink?" Jacob asked as he walked to his kitchen.

The human girl said sure and took his tv remote. She heard some hollering from the kitchen. Bella supposed friends from the pack came to visit Jacob. They were mostly nice guys but she played it shy and didn't get up to greet them. They'll find her and she'll rub their bellies in friendship.

"Jake, we got good news about those bloodsuckers." Quil said.

A sad sickness went into Bella's stomach. She knew the feud was real despite everyone smiling and saying nothing.

"Bro, we got one!" Embry said.

"Clipped its bats' wings!" Paul shouted. "That telepath is done for!"

Bella didn't remember later how she got from the couch to Paul's neck with a cutting knife. He bled as Quil pulled Bella back. 

Paul was held back by Jacob and Embry. Bella didn't hear their screaming words since her heart was sinking into numbness. She picked out some things from reading Jacob's lips. Quil didn't stop her from running out the door. She jumped on her motorcycle and went to the Cullens' home. Up the steps and through the glass doors Bella was about to call for them when she saw Carlisle and Esme. Edward's mother took her hands and said,

"He is alive." Esme assured her.

Bella inhaled for the first time in what felt like one hundred years.

"There was a disagreement about hunting with some wolves and," Carlisle said then weighted his words. "Bella, he's very vulnerable right now."

"For pity's sake, who cares if he lost the fight when he's still alive!" Bella said desperately. 

Esme smiled and touched her check, "That's a good way to look at it, dear."

"Bella, his pride wasn't the only thing harmed."  Carlisle warned. 

"He's... hurt?" Bella asked, "You guys can't get hurt."

"No easily, no." Carlisle said. "Bella, you have to understand he's embarrassed and-"

"Edward!" Bella called as she power walked through the house. Alice and Jasper were in the next room, they pointed out the door.

Next Bella found Rosalie and Emmett on the forest edge of the backyard. She walked past them and stomped over the forest things that tried to trip her. 

"Edward!" Bella yelled to the trees and frightened birds. "Edward, come out this second!"

She heard absolutely nothing; he was close by.

"Edward, please," She begged, "I almost thought....To even consider....I need to see you! In any and every way I need to see you alive and near me."

Hearing nothing was getting her as furious as she was terrified.

"Bella."

She turned her head and and saw no one.

"Bella, you've never been afraid of me. It's insane but I need the eggs." Edward joked but he sounded scared.

"Stop running behind my back!" Bella begged.

He made a very sad sigh. "Be warned. The terror you've denied is evident now."

Bella turned around the looked at the vampire she loved. Her eyes expanded as she ran up to him. Edward's face was frozen in the midst of a werewolf attack. His left eye socket bare of an eye as a ragged opening went across what was left of his nose holes and revealed his sharp teeth. The middle of his lips gone and the gaps sparkled with purple crystal formations. His remaining right eye was wet with shame and fear. He down from her.

Bella reached up and kissed the bare check bones. Edward's face snapped back understand.

"You're the most beautiful zombie in existence." Bella said and she stroked under his torn face.

The vampire hugged her and made sobbing noises. She ran her fingers through his hair and let her own tears drop.

Edward leaned back and touched her face. "How could you possibly..."

"I fell in love with your twisted personality. I like your golden eggs, too." Bella said as she kissed the space between his nose holes and forehead.

He let go of her face and dropped down to one knee. "Bella Swan, would you do me the honor of-"

"No, no, we have other stuff to talk about." Bella said as she went on her knee. "What are we going to tell people?"

Edward went into his secret-keeper-business mode, "The story will be I died in a hunting accident."

"So I have to play grieving widow?" Bella asked.

He was about to argue but shook his head and said, "Yes, love, and how you go on with your life is how you choose-"

"I go to college, have my own vampiric accident and then we marry into immortality." Bella stated.

"This doesn't change your plans at all?" Edward asking pointing to his ugly face.

"Well, I'll have to pretend to be an emotionless wreck for a few years." Bella said shrugging, "But the end game is the same for us."

Edward took Bella's hands and smelled her wrists. He kissed them the best he could. The human couldn't deny it felt weird, like four flesh corners trying to come together, but she loved him enough to get use to weird.

"You're fine if I kill a werewolf." Edward said, half asking and strongly hoping.

Bella took a second longer than she wanted to admit. "No, you were ga-rate-looking in the beginning, those pups couldn't survive with less than half of an okay-looking-face."

"Bella, I have half a face left!" Edward argued.

"And the lucky ones to see it will still be jealous." Bella counter argued.

"Heaven help me, I truly do want to take the higher road but..."

"Then you will, we'll punish the wolves in a different way for scaring the family." Bella said, kissing him on his strange new mouth. Her heart beat still thudded and the rest felt wonderfully same. The rest of the week would be a cake walk.

 


	2. The Correct Twilight Climax

James wanted to eat Bella. Not in a perverse sexual way just in the perverse monstrous way the vampires instinctually felt. The Cullens were just starting to like Bella so they didn't want her drained.

"You brought a snack?" Laurent asked.

Edward shot him an furious glare. Bella stood behind him, fascinated by the shift between animal and person. Alice immediately was at Bella's left and Jasper at her right.

Laurent took a step back as if he was dog-lover insulting a cat-lover. James and Victoria on the other hand were intrigued by this new game.

Carlisle was on the side of the two groups, hands behind his back and an eye on his telepathic son.

 _Tell me if they're truly dangerous or rude_ , Carlisle asked in his head.

Edward narrowed his eyes by the smallest fraction. His parents saw that.

Esme walked up to Bella and whispered in her ear, "Let's have some cake, dear."

"Um, alright." Bella said.

"May I?" Esme asked as she held out her arms.

 _I'm not a child but I'm okay as Lois Lane,_ Bella thought as she was carried Princess-Style in Esme's arms. Jasper and Alice ran after them.

"So no baseball?" Laurent asked, then jumped back as Edward grabbed James' neck. Edward pinned his grinning face to the ground.

 Victoria tore earth in a pounce at Edward. Her face was caught in Emmett's grasp. He squeezed and heard some cracking. He felt a little chewing on his palm. He lifted her up and began to beat her into the ground like a rag doll.

"A lot for a pet, kid." James said looking at the yellow eyes.

Edward knew he couldn't press through James' brain when the enemy had such red eyes. James kicked him back, Edward landed on his feet. Behind James Rosalie grabbed his arms and pulled until they cracked out of socket. James headbutted her but she took the blow and threw him to the ground. She held him under her cleat then stomped into his spin. 

Edward took that moment to grab James' head and twist it off his shoulders.

"You're welcome to stay for our bonfire." Carlisle said Laurent. 

"Thank you but I think I'm going to grab a bite to eat somewhere else." Laurent said as he watched the big fellow hold up his comrade's limp body.

"May I recommend some a spot where they have delicious deer?" The Cullen leader offered.

Edward bent James' limbs backwards and from their normal joint functions.

"Had to be a human girl." Rosalie said with her arms folded.

Edward ignored her words and thoughts.

 _Might've hurt the family but hey she looks like Mom_ , Rosalie thought as she pulled the dead female out of her honey's hands.

Her brother threw an arm at her face.

Emmett laughed at her shocked face. She turned to glare at him, he stopped, then she took off Victoria's foot and threw it at Edward's back. He took James' jaw and held it back like he was about to pitch.

"Now, now, there's no need for that." Carlisle said after Laurent said goodbye.

Edward pouted then dropped the scrap of body part. "What am I suppose to tell Bella? This is a regular thing we do on weekends?"

"Well, semi-annual." Emmett shrugged. He wished that were true. He broke two branches and scraped them together into a fire.

"Dear brother, your girlfriend is a freak. She'll probably love this gothic fantasy you've made for her." Rosalie said.

At the Cullen home Bella was eating a cream-cheese cake with soy milk. 

"Yes we were hoping he would 'come out' for decades. If you saw him during Bowie's most popular days in the eighties-" Alice giggled.

"Oh please say there are pictures." Bella asked while laughing. Esme appeared with a photo album. Jasper laid back in the farther corner but smirked at memories of Edward listening to Tears for Fears.

Edward caught the memory from downstairs. He listened to his family tease him and saw Bella's cheery expression in their minds. He ran up the stairs and went to Alice's room.

Bella saw him in the doorway, "How did the bonfire go?"

His heart sank as did his smile. 

 _We brag about the good points too_ , Alice thought. Edward's family saw he was getting in a mood.

"Oh, I hear the tea whistling." Esme asked, she pinched Bella's chin before walking out. Alice and Jasper followed her, Edward saw their smirks as they humanly slowly walked by.

"Are you insane?" Edward asked, he couldn't tell if he was furious or terrified.

Bella crossed her legs, "You like that about me."

He ghosted to her chair, his hands leaning on arm rests. "Do you like this terror? Dancing in a home of vampires?"

"Your family are really nice people." Bella touched his cold face, "I like knowing you're there for me."

She leaned in closer to his face, "You're my hero."

Edward leaned his forehead to hers and looked her in the eyes, "I don't know what to do about this."

"I'm rolling with what I get." Bella admitted.

His eyes were very old and sad, Bella both hands under his cheeks. "Talk to me, please."

He sighed very deeply. "I can't give you a normal future...a safe, happy future. With me...there is no future."

"Enough people have had boring, normal lives. We can be extraordinary." Bella said, leaning into his face. Her eyes closed and her lips puckering.

Edward pulled away from her. "You are wasting something any of us would trade for..."

Bella put her head down then looked up at him. "I'm trading mundane possibilities for a chance at true love."

The deceleration was the perfect torture; he wanted her and he wanted her to have more. Edward went to his knees and took her hands.

"I cannot damn you when I have the choice. The choice I did not have." He said, begging for her understanding.

"Yeah, but then we would've never met. I don't like that option in the slightest." Bella said, kissing his hair.

"We're going to fight about this forever, aren't we?" Edward asked.

Bella stood up. "No."

"You're giving up." Edward hoped, but a small part of him doubted.

"I want you in every way but if you can't realize that we won't be happy as different species forever, or the rest of my mortal life, then I can't bother with you." Bella said, she felt sick at the idea of leaving him.

Edward thought about every day of his life before meeting Bella. Every single lonely, easy day went past his eyes. The only thing that looked good to him was her.

"Then that's that." He said as he stood up.

"Shut up, I don't really mean that!" Bella said as she embraced him.

Edward was confused but happy to hug her back. "Thank Heaven."

"You have to bite me." Bella whispered.

Her vampire love sighed. "Not today."

"Soon." Bella demanded.

* * *

 

Torturing Charlie and running like maniacs didn't make sense to me. They're a big family, they're old and special, they should be more useful!


	3. New Full Moon

Something that annoyed me was Bella was like 100 pounds in Twilight then she loses even more weight during her depression? Gross. Bad. I do not approve.

I shall fix!

WARNING-I have a tiny fetish for fat.

* * *

 

 

Returning to my darling, amazing, wonderful Bella was the right choice. Perhaps being a vampire was a miserable damned life but I was happy as the Volturi during the massacres. Bella was my one and only and I needed her in my afterlife as much as I needed blood and melody.

She loved me too, crazy enough. I would not waste this love again. I would be the best influence on my Bella. Heaven help us, she needed that now.

My dear was recovering her depression heroically but she was difficult to look at. Most lovely creature in existence but she had become skeletal since our separation. She was painful to view. I felt I could snap her in half, I saw too many bones. No, this would not stand. My Bella needed to rejuvenate.  

The dinning table was covered with plates and platters. The television programs for cooking were limitless in this age. I turned off the lights and added a couple of candles for a amorous mood. The glow against the meats, vegetables, grains and desserts was nice.

Bella's beautiful brown eyes were better. "All this for me? This could feed a small state!"

"You're worth the world to me." I said as I took her slight hand.

"Okay, is this why you asked me to dress comfortably?" Bella asked as she pointed to her baggy sweat-clothing. It hung on her, I felt very sad.

"Well, I'm not very hungry but I'll try some." Bella said as I pulled a chair out. Her bottom took up a fourth of the cushion.

"I'll be heartbroken if you don't take a bite of each plate." I informed her.

"Edward, really." Bella said scooped a modest portion of pasta.

I leaned down and put my finger under her chin. "Please try some more."

Her pupils grew darker. She took another scoop of pasta. Her shaky human arms slowly lifted the full spoon to her mouth. Past her lips the cheesy noodles went, she chewed and swallowed.

"Do you like the starter?" I asked when ate the second bite.

"Sure, but I always like your taste better." Bella said, touching the hip and rising a hand to my abdominal. 

My minx. I wouldn't let her turn me to jelly just yet.

"If you mean that," I said then took a scoop of broccoli mash in my mouth. Dirt in my mouth but nutrients to hers, I bent down and kissed my Bella.

She sucked the broccoli mash out of my mouth with a viper tongue. My mind left my skull and flew around the room. We were out of mash so I reached for another food; animal flesh of a sort. It was greasy and she licked is off my chin before searching my teeth. I was almost scared of her swallowing my venom but I wasn't hunting. I was in kingly comfort, full of love but content to play.

"Still hungry?" I asked.

Bella touched my face. "Starving."

One empty bowl, two empty plates, six dented entrees and Bella had the more precious little poke of a stomach under her dull grey sweatshirt.

"That was fun." She said while sitting on my lap. I took a napkin to her cheeks, they were a bit brighter. A double joy from the approved food and my affections. Winner, winner and a second chicken dinner to come.

"Very much so, and so many leftovers." I said, a hand over the other morsels.

"Give to the less fortunate?" Bella suggested.

I scoffed, "I want only to give to you."

"But I'm very fortunate." Bella said, kissing neck and hugging warmth into my cold being.

I hugged her back. "I shall make sure of that."

The next night I encouraged her to help with the leftovers. I assisted as much as possible in kissing the food down her throat. In between gulps she began asking, almost begging for more. I went steady enough that it didn't choke her but I wouldn't let her suffer for more than two minutes.

Fantastically she was filling out to her regular size in less than two weeks. That was my goal and we could've stopped then. We were having too much fun to stop.

I cooked bigger and more interesting meals. There were nights Bella would add against the recipe. I didn't like going off formula but it was for her tastebuds. Also the artisan aspects of her were quite charming. She was very cute when asking to lick the spoon during pudding night.

In about three months after we started our Private Cooking Club Bella began to notice herself getting 'chubby'. I called it 'healthy'. I explained the crushes I had for women from the fifties. She put on her jealous face and poured the pork gravy into her mouth. Three large gulps and she was done. I was impressed.

The pudge we made on her was amazing. The little extra chin I would kiss as I mapped out each corner of her face. Her hips expanded and her old shirts were becoming stretched. 

"Edward, we may have to stop the Private Cooking Club." She said one afternoon. Bella was torturing herself in attempt to close a button on her jeans. The struggle fascinated me.

"I disagree, shared hobbies make for lasting couples." I said while sitting on her bed, examining her curves.

"I do not have the pants for this hobby." Bella countered.

I shrugged, "I have the credit cards for better clothing."

"Better? I'm turning into a butterball!" Bella said as she gave up on her pants. The round stomach stood out, floating like a bubble.

I ran over to stroke her glorious belly. It was so soft, the warmth spread with the extra flesh of my true love.

"Edward..." Bella said, blushing as I kissed her belly. My hands cradling the love handles- ha, I understand that term so well now! I was falling in love all over again.

 Eventually Bella graduated from high school and began college. She wouldn't accept my proposals but we chose a quaint home in Seattle. 

I was over the stove stirring a rich stew. During my hunt I found a quaint little deer, it felt nice to share a meal with her. I liked the apron she sewed me. I liked the bed she let me choose for us.

"Almost finished, love." I said from the kitchen.

"Great, but I'm spoiling my appetite with a snack first." Bella called from the bedroom.

I chuckled. "Don't get up."

I sped to the bedroom of the most darling woman in the world. Bella was on her laptop, to be precise her laptop sat on her round stomach.

"Are those tapas?" Bella asked, her dimpling checks smiled. Her plump arms put the laptop on the nightstand. She panted a bit as she leaned over. Every inch jiggled as she sat on our rose bed.

I hated seeing her lift a finger.  I walked over to kiss her hand, my lips were almost lost in her fluff.

"Bella, don't get up."

"Like I could without a crane." Bella joked.

I chuckled again then looked into her eyes. I could see every sweet chocolate she ate in her eyes. She locked me in, she was my goddess of love and all I could offer were the small scarifies of slight labor. I offered the salty meat to her on a fork. She bite it, raised her eyebrows then sucked it in.

"Now kisses." Bella demanded as she chewed.

I grinned, put the food to the side and leaned over her round figure. We were unmarried so I very lightly brushed her breasts; they were too large to ignore and she moaned happily when I gave the slightest attention to the delicate center.

"I love you, Edward." Bella said as she began panting and we began smacking.

"As I love you. More than you could imagine." I swore, I caressed her rolls of flesh and moaned thanks of her beauty bestowed on me.

We were happy. I was less than thrilled when I heard her heart go mad then stop dead. The delicious food was clogging her pumping vessel and I would not let human limits end our romance. After putting it off for years I finally bit into my Bella's thick neck. I wasn't sure I made it past the sweet fluff so I bite every vein I could on her.

I was worried when she didn't scream but I heard her heart beat again so I allowed a tiny ounce of joy for my monstrous abilities. After two long days her opened her blood-red eyes.

For the first time in years Bella stood up on her own. She was stunning; still thick and curvy and would stay that way forever.

"Oh Bella." I said as she dipped me backwards in her arm.

"Now I will marry you." She said as she pressed me into her icy, creamy flesh.

"Bella, devour me." I begged went to my knees and worshiped her belly.

Bella pushed me to the ground and kneeled ontop of me. "Yes I will."

"On our honeymoon?" I offered, the view of her cleavage and big belly excited me eve greater than when she was human.

"If you can fight me off." Bella the new born vampire said.

I couldn't. The afterlife was glorious.

 


End file.
